I just got home from seeing Alegria in London, it was so awesome and beautiful! It reminds me of why I actualfax thought about running away to join the circus when I was a teen ;)

Cirque du Soleil always amazes me... and makes me aware of just how out of shape I am. I used to be flexible, really! 5 years ago I could do the splits, put a foot behind my head, and stand on a moving horse - now I can't even touch my toes, and can probably barely sit on a horse, lol :D

I registered an Etsy store! It's empty right now, but I did it, go me :D Hopefully will have time over the weekend to make a banner, do my bio thingy and post a couple of items. I've been working on some miniature paintings and have some photos. I really loathe trying to take decent pictures of my art though, they always end up looking bad.
Of course, being on Etsy just makes me want to buy so many things, must restrain myself, am pretty broke. I've seen tonnes of stuff that I want to buy for family for Christmas, though.

Only three weeks until trip to Toronto for Hey Rosetta! <3<3<3 I never did contact Erin (their violinist) to get put on the list for the show, ended up just buying a ticket instead. I always feel lame or like I'm harassing musicians when I email them (even though she told me to). It's easier just to buy a ticket, and I want to support my favourite bands anyway, so :)


How are you all doing on this fine Friday evening?

In Flanders Fields
John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

(I lost my poppy - I feel like a total tool walking around on Remembrance Day with no poppy on, will have to see if I can find a new one on my lunch break)

My horse Cally has developed some respiratory problems and isn't keeping weight on at all. I was already having trouble affording her monthly board and have been trying to sell her for the past year, but because of the economy and the fact that she's not completely trained, I wasn't able to find anyone to take her. Then she got sick - I just got a bill for $500 (I've already paid $100 earlier) from the vet coming out to look at her and one medication we tried. He still doesn't 100% know what's wrong with her; he wants me to send her to a equine veterinary hospital in London for a scope (which with transportation costs, etc, would probably end up being another $1000). That's still just diagnosis, that's not including any treatment. It's looking like whatever we do this is going to be a chronic condition and require meds for the rest of her life, and she's only 6 years old. If I give her away chances are she would eventually end up at the meat packers, and I don't want that to ever happen to her. I'm starting to think I might have to put her down. I really don't know what to do. Even if I cut out everything extra from my budget (which is basically concerts and travelling, I don't really ever buy much "stuff") I'm still going to be getting deeper into debt than I already am. I'm trying to get a second job but it's really hard to find the extra time because of school. I feel so horrible that I'm even considering this, but I don't know what else to do :(

I'm feeling really stupid right now. I'm two weeks late on an assignment for one of my classes - it's just this marketing plan thing, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it. It's worth 30% of my final mark. And now I can't seem to figure out my LCC cataloguing assignment, either! Cataloguing classes have been the classes that I could get through with great grades no matter what, they always came naturally - I'm staring at my reading and my assignment like it's written in Swahili. I almost started crying a minute ago, I'm so upset and frustrated. I don't know why none of this is making any sense :( I can feel myself sliding down this slippery slope until I'm behind in every class and just give up -- oh wait, I am behind in every class as of midnight tonight. Awesome. I'm only 7 classes from finishing, and I totally want to pitch the whole thing right at this moment.

Should drop the class that I'm the worse off in? But I've already got a couple of withdrawals on my transcript, doesn't that look bad? Plus it's a pre-req for another class, so if I withdraw, that means I can't graduate until after summer semester...

I can't even describe how happy I am right now. Just got home from seeing Dan Mangan play at Paddy's in Sarnia, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I got to hang out with 'Manda and introduce her to one of my favourite bands! Before the show, I talked to Erin, the violin player from Hey Rosetta!, who is touring with Dan, and she is going to put me on the list for the HR! show in Toronto in December. Then we stood directly in front of the stage, and I danced my ass off, sang along to all of the words, got to play the jingle bells on a couple of songs - Dan asked my name and then said "I like you, Mel!" in the mic, lol. I rocked the fuck out for 'Robots' while Dan stood on the bar. I made an awesome new friend who was up front and singing too, and we stood and talked to Dan, his brother Neil, and bass player Michael for about two hours about art, life, tattoos, music, and happiness. Seriously, I feel like I'm just overflowing with joy in being alive right in this moment.

I feel so good about who I am as a person right now, just hanging around and having dialogue with these amazing people and connecting with them makes me feel like I can do anything. It makes me want to create and make other people happy. I want to feel like this always.

(ps - I love you guys, I hope you all know that <3)

GUYS MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED IN TWO DAYS GUYS!!!!! (I'm maybe freaking out just a tiny bit)

Kate Harding writes an excellent article at Jezebel about how Roman Polanski is a criminal, not someone being censored or persecuted for his art. Contents may be triggery. [via sheafrotherdon]

Interesting article: Coming Out in Middle School

shenanigans + the FC podcast + band tweets make me excited for the possibility of new music soon... exciting! something to do with Midtown? y/n/maybe?

I think I may have posted this before, but it bears repeating. One of my favourite, most heart-wrenching music videos. I hope someone loves me like this someday.

How useful is it to have a built-in online panel to judge your outfit before you go out? VERY. Now I won't be tempted to wander the mall after I get my hair cut tomorrow and buy a new dress :D

My sister's bachelorette is tomorrow night, and we're all supposed to wear our "little black dress". So, this?





Yes, no, maybe?


Classes start today! I'm taking 3 courses this semester, plus my first work placement, plus still working full time. I still haven't sold/given away my horse. My sister gets married in 3 weeks. *pulls out hair* Ok, I'm not actually stressed out yet. I think that I'm just stressed out at the thought of how stressed out I'm going to be in 2 or 3 weeks :D

Does anyone want a small piece of original art? I'm doing some small pieces while experimenting with different media, and I'd like to give them to people if anyone wants one. First three here and first three over on Twitter (@cacophonously)

I love how in the New Perspective video, Spencer looks like he's been practicing his catwalk in his bedroom for years! Love the swing in his shoulders, and the way they stop and adjust their jacket cuffs at the top of the stairs :D Also, there is no bad in Brendon and Spencer + water. That second when B closes his eyes? Guh. Next video -> wet t-shirt contest, please. Pete should get on that.

Also, can I just say that this song has grown on me like crazy? Maybe it's because I just saw them live.

I went to the Panic!/Fall Out Boy/Blink 182 show in Detroit on Saturday with sammipunk (re-cap to follow), and that was fun. My mom was gone all weekend to my uncle's place, so I didn't have to deal with that stress all weekend; I went for dinner with my dad and sister last night; I got tickets to the Empires/Dear Hunter show in Michigan next month; today I found out that someone is going to take my horse - BEFORE I have to pay next month's board; and itsbeenvery is awesome and said something nice about me that made me smile :) So, good day!

Guys, I am so sick. blech.
I went to the hospital yesterday to get bloodwork and xrays on my lower back, because my right big toe went numb about a week ago and my doctor thinks there might be some sort of blockage or pinched nerve. So, that was fun. But also I've had this nasty cough/chest pain/general gross feeling for a week or so. Possibly bronchitis (again)? IDK, I'm going to ask my doc when I see him on Monday to get the results from the xrays. I don't know why I dragged my butt into work, I should have stayed home.

via sartorias
This amazing:



I think that I will go paint now :)

We've been really worried about my Uncle Andy (my mom's older (and only) brother) because he's been unwell a lot, and lost a massive amount of weight in the past year particularly. He visited at the beginning of July and literally looked like a bone rack. I think Mom was worried that it was cancer; he might have been worried about that too and trying to avoid it, as he didn't go to the doctor until recently.

The thing about our family is that Uncle Andy and my Mom both have polycystic kidney disease, which means their kidneys are enlarged and covered in fluid-filled cysts - my mom's kidneys are the size of lumpy footballs, essentially. PCKD kidneys can weigh 20-30 pounds, if you can imagine that.

When Uncle Andy finally went in to the doctor, he found out that he only has 20% renal function left: 10% is when you have to go on dialysis to survive. He's supposed to go to a specialist next week. Mom is pretty upset - obviously we knew this was going to happen (and will happen to her too); there is no cure for PCKD, and it always ends in kidney failure. That can be delayed by dialysis or transplant, but those aren't permanent solutions. My mom was diagnosed earlier than him and has always been at a more advanced stage of the disease and had more symptoms; I think she was hoping that somehow it wouldn't happen to him...

One of the worst things is that it turns out he hasn't told his 14 year old daughter any of this yet. I don't even think she knows he has kidney disease :(

it's really hard being around my mom when she's so upset or pissed off about stuff ALL THE FUCKING TIME. i don't know how my step-dad puts up with it.

sister's wedding shower on Sunday! *tears hair out*